THE IMPALER FOR PRESIDENT - 2012

What Jonathon will do for America upon becoming President?

He will end Political and Government corruption.

He will instill fear into criminals and terrorits.

Upon being elected as President, I will do what I would have done in Minnesota if I had become Governor. I will institute The Vladimir Putin Media Relations Act.

If the media or anyone defames me, lies about me or tries to portray me in a negative way, I will have you arrested and brought before me to stand trial. Upon finding you guilty of your crime(s), I will personally cut out your lying tongue and nail it to your chin for the world to see what a liar you are! This Act will be grandfathered as far back as I decide I want it to be, and it will include anyone who speaks wrongly of Audrianna as well.

If you royally piss me off, I will not only cut your lying tongues out, but, I will beat, torture, IMPALE, dismember and decapitate you. Your head will be placed on display on the Front Lawn of The White House.

May it be noted, Saturday Night Live has full permission to make any comedy skit of me, without my permission. I appreciate what they did about me on Weekend Update on 14 Jan 06 with Tina Fey.